This morning I befriended a husky in the ocean. Have you ever been a dog? Me either. I think I’d like it. (Except for the fleas. They’re murder).
In more important news HOLY SHIT! My first born child, Love and Other Carnivorous Plants, IS A REAL BOOK WITH A REAL COVER!!! Check out the interview with the amazing designer, Karina, here!
A court hearing this morning showed kale facing off against White Suburban Moms in the battle for kale’s only off spring, baby kale. Fighting on behalf of the WSM’s was, Britt Vendt, NYC lawyer known for her successful cases against child labor and child prostitution.
“Kale is an irresponsible parent whose motives can’t be trusted. What loving parent would put their child in the hands of big supermarkets?” Vendt asked. She went on to compare kale to a greedy celebrity trying to make a buck off their kid, “Then recants upon realizing the kid is more famous than they are. Despicable is what it is.” OMG Tell Me More About That Dirty Vegetable
Thirty-seven year old writer Marjorie Black has just announced that her next book, How The Fuck Am I Supposed To Make It As An Artist, will be published on pieces of bark donated by local, libertarian-leaning trees. Instead of being sold, readers will offer her goods and services, like organic heirloom tomatoes and an ombre dye job, in exchange for a pithy account of just what it takes to have it all. More on Tax Evasion